Woman: Hey, you know, I’ve googled and saved some pictures of that long haired Chippendale guy that I really like. Partner: Yeah? What for? Woman: Uhm… So that I can masturbate to his photos when you’re not around. Partner: (burst into laughter) Woman: What??? Partner: Nice! That’s how it’s supposed to be. There’s no need [...]
Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Bedroom Conversation
Posted in apple of my eye, tagged funny, men, relationship on March 2, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
BirdChat Series #3: Doubtful Bird (aka Jesus on the Beach)
Posted in apple of my eye, tagged birdchat, funny, religion on February 1, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Birdie: I think all this depiction about Jesus as unmanly guy with flimsy hands is just stupid, you know. It doesn’t make sense! He is a carpenter, for goodness sake. Me: Yeah, something isn’t right about that. Carpentry is really tough. It is no job for a delicate and skinny man. Hmmm… So, either Jesus [...]
BirdChat Series #2: Nudist Bird (aka the Bird who Threw Stones at the Snake)
Posted in apple of my eye, tagged birdchat, funny, religion, temptation on January 22, 2010 | 5 Comments »
Birdie: It’s that darned snake’s fault. If not because of him, I would be in Heaven now. Me: It’s not his fault. It’s Adam’s. Who asked him to eat the damned fruit… Birdie: No, it’s the snake’s. You know, the snake is Mr. Tan. (Birdie always calls Satan as SA Tan.) He’s the one who [...]
BirdChat Series (Christianity on a Lighter Note): Adam’s Bird
Posted in apple of my eye, tagged birdchat, friends, funny, religion on January 20, 2010 | 2 Comments »
My new workplace is not at all bad. One of the perks I got is to befriend some funny and intelligent girls to bitch with at lunchtimes. Isn’t it something to be grateful for?. Not everybody can make good friends (plus get free entertainment) in the office. Among them is a girl I call Birdie. [...]
You Know It’s Chemistry if after 7 Years of Relationship the Conversation Goes Like This…
Posted in light bulb moment, tagged dream, funny, relationship on November 21, 2009 | 4 Comments »
You: “Do you know what my weirdest dream is? It’s about a bird. We were moving house, and I was packing stuffs into a cardboard box when a bird suddenly flew by (literally). Then the dumb bird landed INSIDE the box. I was too rushed to be bothered about it, so I just closed the [...]
10 for Francisca (aka C.V.)
Posted in apple of my eye, labour of love, tagged friends, funny, memories, personal on February 9, 2009 | 9 Comments »
Really, I do this only for my friend Francisca. She wrote a note in Facebook and tagged me in it. It came with specific instructions: “Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. [...]
Conspiracy Theory
Posted in light bulb moment, tagged annoyance, funny, unimportant on December 24, 2008 | 3 Comments »
It’s no secret that my company has been trying to cut cost. Who doesn’t, right, amidst the global economic recession? But whether the cost reduction has anything to do with the peculiar coincidences that happened these few days, maybe only God (and whoever “arranged” this) knows. There had been a series of important emails to [...]
‘First-Time Offender’ Redefined
Posted in light bulb moment, tagged annoyance, funny, unimportant on October 13, 2008 | 4 Comments »
I committed my first crime a few days ago. I mean the first one that got caught. Well, while in my humble home country the word ‘offender’ makes you think of drug smuggler, child trafficker, rapist, or mass murderer, I can assure you that my case is not even close to drink driving. (I don’t [...]